


All the Little Lights

by Starain (Valgus)



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Drama, F/M, Fluff, One Shot
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-28
Updated: 2019-04-28
Packaged: 2020-02-09 05:37:07
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,579
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18631888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Valgus/pseuds/Starain
Summary: Sebastian always thought that finally feeling at home—that happiness—was something, somewhere, someday in the future, in the distance, in the city and beyond, where one day he'd eventually departed with his bike and solitude.But home had come to him in the form of the newcomer, the female farmer who was now curling against him in her sleep; his dear, dear wife who taught him that happiness can be a here and a now—that home is perhaps someone who makes flowers bloom even in the saddest part of him.





	All the Little Lights

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from [beautiful piece with the same name made by Tracey Chattaway](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m7ukOPLzuV8).

Life was normal for Sebastian of Pelican Town.

Or so it seems from a certain distance, Sebastian personally believed.

He was a strange character, with his closed off attitude and liking to dark things, but he wasn't the strangest one. Everyone, after several years of living in the tiny town, had their own problems. Everyone had loved and lost something, Sebastian supposed, but the realisation didn't make his situation any easier. If anything, he started to see other human being in the town as cursed entities, locked in this town just like he was.

Was he happy?

He certainly wasn't.

His goal was the same as always as years ago as he stepped into his twenties. His goal was always to leave this town, to drive away in that beloved motorcycle of his and never return, never looking back to the place he grew up. Well, perhaps he'd return for a visit to his mother once in a while, but that'd be about it.

Sometimes, when it was bright, sunny, and the sky was clear above the valley, Sebastian felt so trapped, so exhausted for no reason. He liked it when it was cold and quiet. But the chatters and the spotlight got him and it was so bad because he lived with other people, people he didn't consider his family, just something that his mother brought along, people who made him miserable.

Sebastian understood in logical level that his mother was a nice person and she meant well and she just wanted to be happy and indeed she seemed happy with her new husband. But Sebastian wasn't happy with that and his stepfather didn't seem to like him and Sebastian decided that, sometimes, even when someone is kind and wonderful like his mother, they could still hurt people. 

And then there was the fact that he still lived with his parent, which shouldn't be something too shameful but the society made it so, and Sebastian didn't know what to do with himself because he didn't make as much money as he wanted despite him working so hard he believed he already ruined his sight in some degree at this point of his life.

He was trapped.

He was utterly trapped.

Sometimes, the understanding of this made him felt like crying.

But no tears fell off.

He was numb, dying inside, and every single year he felt like he was simply walking towards an edge of hell, a hell that one day he definitely fall into. It was slow and painful and Sebastian was full with uncertainty and his fall to hell seemed inevitable and perfectly sure and nothing could ever change that.

Not even the newcomer whose name had reached him first before Sebastian got to see her for the first time. She was nice, he guessed, because she didn't exactly get into his way, something Sebastian used to measure people in his life. Though, Sebastian thought she was terribly stupid for leaving town for this sad, boring, and monotonic valley. Perhaps, soon she'd realised her mistake and made the right decision and leave.

But she didn't.

But she stayed.

But then they talked a bit more and Sebastian felt comfortable enough to invite her to his space and his activity and eventually into his life. She talked to him despite his cold tones, his pushing away demeanour, and his overall attitude. When she was around, Sebastian's desire to be catapulted a world away from this small town, so small it had no traffic light, reduced drastically. Sebastian had thought she was reckless and foolish for throwing away a perfectly fine life in the city he ran way to some nights, but she was anything but.

She was here and she was struggling but happy and she kept seeing him, talking to him, until suddenly Sebastian realised that he'd like to bring her to that cliff where he usually overlooked the city.

Suddenly, Sebastian knew that fate had brought her here.

To him. To his arms. To a night in a cliff where it felt like their soul was connected.

And, suddenly, he knew where he'd like to go into the future. As their lips touched and their limbs entwined, Sebastian knew that he'd stop smoking from that very moment, that he'd pull up big cash from his save so he could go to the new beach in rainy day to obtain a certain pendant...

Her arms felt like home and it felt like his entire life was just a walk that eventually led him to her.

He looked at her after their kiss, her hair flying in the cold night wind, and Sebastian thought,  _Ah. Finally._

_Finally I'm here._

_Finally, I'm home._

She beat him to pendant business, though, and he tried to pay it back by setting up the whole wedding by himself. It was so strange to think that two years ago he'd probably thought himself today had totally lost his mind. Him? Preparing a wedding?  _His_ own wedding? In the same valley he had spent his entire life trying to escape from?

But it was the best project he ever done and the wedding day was the happiest day of his life and to think that there'd be more things after this wedding; there'd be a house he can decorate to his heart's content, a place where he didn't have to stay inside his room at all times in order to avoid certain people, and then, perhaps, one day in the future, he'd have his own children, the fruits of his love with the most important person in his life.

Life was well.

Life was better than ever.

Now he could breathe easier, woke up happier, and wondered how great it'd be if every living being could be as content as he was. Whenever she entered his vision, it would feel like the whole world was gleaming, shimmering, and glistening so ethereally in the most beautiful way possible. He finally understood the saying 'lighting up one's world' and the happiness was sometimes too much he was glad his wife continued being busy with farming most of the times.

But they'd return to the same bed, to their familiar embrace, and to a little pillow talk before drifting off into blissful unconsciousness.

Sometimes, he'd stay awake a little longer to watch her dozed off, tired from physical work at the field but visibly comfortable in his arms.

Sebastian always thought that finally feeling at home—that happiness—was something, somewhere, someday in the future, in the distance, in the city and beyond, where one day he'd eventually departed with his bike and solitude.

But home had come to him in the form of the newcomer, the female farmer who was now curling against him in her sleep; his dear, dear wife who taught him that happiness can be a here and a now—that home is perhaps someone who makes flowers bloom even in the saddest part of him.

She wasn't the perfect picture of sleeping beauty, if he may noted, after Sebastian was comfortably satisfied with his epiphany.

Her hair was everywhere and she looked generally shabby in his hoodie that was certainly a couple of sizes too big for her. But she was the most beautiful thing Sebastian ever laid his eyes upon and little fireworks of happiness exploded in his chest whenever she moved against him in her sleep, cuddling him, seeking him for warmth, and holding on to him because she loved him.

She loved him and she would continue to love him until his time on earth ran out.

She made sure to say this every day, because she knew that Sebastian had lived so long without being and feeling loved, but also because she did love him and she wanted him to know and she just simply loved him.

And he loved her too.

And they were each other's home.

And they were each other's half in a way that she was a guardian of Sebastian's solitude and he was hers.

They coexist in the most seamless way and it didn't take Sebastian too long to ask her whether she'd ever think about adding a family member. She'd blush and he'd blush too and then a year later he spooned a blended food into his infant daughter's tiny mouth. His daughter looked like him but also looked like her and Sebastian never thought he'd see anything better than her, but in a way their daughter was also her.

And life was now bright and hopeful and he knew he was blessed.

And his home grew; after her arms, now he found it in a way that she adapted his mannerisms, his dark jokes, and even his smell. He also found it in the way their daughter looked up at him and smiled that smile that was so like her mother. He found it in the way their son mumbled, "Dadda!" upon seeing him too. Then, he made peace with his past, his family, and eventually with his life.

And, one day, he'd tell his daughter and son that one made their own home, their own comfort, and their own fate.

And that finally feeling at home was actually just waiting around the corner even in the darkest situation, if only one was brave enough to keep walking and reaching for it...

... For once he was there and he decided to reach his hand out to her, his forever home.

**Author's Note:**

> The 'makes flowers bloom in the saddest part of him' isn't made by me. I read it somewhere once (Tumblr, I suppose) and it's such a lovely sentence sometimes it just tumbled out of me. Credits where credit's due.
> 
> I just realised this but the title, "All The Little Lights" can also refer to Sebastian's ten hearts event, in which him and farmer watch all the little lights of the city together. I can't be the only one who feels forlorn and melancholy upon seeing little lights in the darkness, like faraway city or sky full of stars, can I? I suppose that's why I feel so connected to Sebastian's narrative.
> 
> I've only proofread this once as I wrote this note, so feel free to point out anything that might need editing.
> 
> Thank you for reading! :)


End file.
